Palagis

I’ve been fortunate in my life to have had a few ineffable experiences.   “Ineffable” is one of my favorite words because it is a word used to name a quality of experience that goes beyond any combination of words of any language to describe.  The biggest one of those experiences for me by far, because I was so totally unprepared for it, was the birth of my first child, J.D.  The births of both my children – a shout out to Samantha – were ineffable experiences.

A personal note to my children here:  Your births inspired me beyond description, and I never wanted to be anything less than the perfect father to you.  In striving to be the perfect father, I made mistakes in your upbringing.  Please know that I meant nothing short of the best, whether I bungled some things miserably or got others right.  Please forgive me for those things I got way wrong.  I assure you, those mistakes were the farthest thing from intentional you can get.  But, ultimately where you are right now is with the fact that whatever you got from me is what you’ve got: positive and negative.  Strive to overcome the negatives and make the best of those remarkable qualities you do have as human beings.  And you each have some of the most remarkable qualities as human beings that I’ve ever seen, and I am in absolute awe of the grownups you two have become.   And, I will tell you this:  I will take to my grave the image of your births etched indelibly into my mind – not the physical aspect, but the profound emotional one – as the two greatest things that ever happened to me in my life.  And y’all know I’ve been lucky enough to have done some cool things.

I enjoy talking to parents expecting their first child.  They are typically concerned with how do they find a competent babysitter, how to decorate the nursery, will it hurt much, to breastfeed or not, what if I can’t, who’s going to handle the nightly feedings, etc.   But, once their firstborn has arrived, none of that matters.  The birth of a child is an experience that goes beyond words, and the only way to share it is with others who’ve had the same experience.  Then, all that is to be said about the experience is, “I know.”  It’s ineffable.

I got my first hint of the ineffable in college when one of my guppies gave birth.  My roommate and I were both into aquariums, and we had four in our dorm room.  He had a 20 gallon tall aquarium between our beds and a 10 gallon on his desk.  I had a 10 gallon on my desk and a 5 gallon on the back of my bed. 

One morning my roommate awoke to exclaim, “Joel!  All my fish are dead!”  What had happened was the 20 gallon had sprung a leak, all the water had drained out, and all the fish were lying lifeless on the bottom.  We were on the third floor and it was a bright, cloudless day.  The guy below us had looked out his window and had seen the water running down the glass, so he took his umbrella to class!  Anyway, back to the guppy story. 

I had a pregnant guppy, and as her delivery became imminent, I had placed her by herself into the 5 gallon tank, so no other fish could make a quick and delicious snack of the newborns.  Guppies are live-bearers.  That is, they don’t lay eggs.  And I had the good fortune of being in the room when the live-bearing began.  Out plops a tiny miniature guppy, then another, and another, and so on until the tank was full of teeny tiny fish.  Where once there was only one fish in the tank, the pregnant female, now there were two or three dozen.  It was an ineffable experience.

I had another ineffable experience while in college, and I should mention that is Valdosta State in the most glorious times of the mid-seventies.  I was a Speech and Drama major with Radio-TV-Film emphasis.  I am proud of my BFA in Theater Arts!  Anyway, one of the requirements for my degree was to participate in one of the quarterly mainstage productions.   The play we presented was “Born Yesterday.”  Since I was working basically full time at the NAPA store, I had little time to devote to learning lines, so I was made stage manager.  A stage manager is the person backstage who’s responsible for seeing that everyone makes their timely entrance and that the stage is set properly and all the props are where they should be.  I remember little of what I did as stage manager, but I have never forgotten the ineffable bonding between the cast and crew members.  There’s just something about sharing a highly emotionally charged situation that is impossible to convey.  The bonding of troops in war has to be indescribably more intense.  But the bonding shared by all of us doing “Born Yesterday” was something very special, indeed.  I’ve had the great pleasure now to have experienced the same feeling on other occasions when I’ve acted in various stage productions.  It’s always the same – ineffable. 

I’ll bet, too, that you have your stories of ineffable bonding, especially that feeling you have of bonding with, say, your fellow DFACS workers who, how many times a day ask each other, “Can you believe this shit?” because nobody in ordinary life is witness to some of the horrors you face almost on a daily basis.  Anyhow, these kinds of experiences, whether you are conscious of them in your life or not – and I do hope you are – give life its ineffable richness.

I am in American Samoa on a two year contract.  There are a number of other palagis here for various lengths of time, some for 8 months, one year, toe years etc.  Some find life here son enjoyable they extend their contracts of find new contracts.  This all results in a number of comings and goings, and usually the goings are a time to get together to bid each other a fond farewell.  You may recall from an earlier post that the word “palagi” refers to an off-islander, typically white folks.  “Palagi” is pronounced Pah-Lahn-Ghee – with a hard “g.”  In Samoan, “g” is always pronounced by adding an “n’ before it.  So Pago Pago is pronounced “Pahngo Pahngo” for example.  In any event, I went to a going away party the other night.

Lisa was the one going away.  She has been here on a one year contract as a clerk for the Chief Justice of the High Court.  Lisa didn’t want to leave.  The room was full of young palagis.  I met Ved, who is from I don’t recall where, who is a lawyer with the EPA.  I met Celia, who came here as a criminal prosecutor with the Attorney General’s office who, once her gig was done in that office, found a spot as Counsel for the Department of Commerce, so, she’s staying on.  I met Tony, whose wife is pregnant with their first child, and who’s a prosecutor in the AG’s office.  There was Brian, another clerk for the High Court, of Indian descent – the subcontinent – who’s from Chicago and who’s headed back to Chicago shortly.  Colley, a scientist here studying the myna bird.  Mynas are great mimics and are often kept as pets for their ability to repeat human words.  The myna is kin to the starling, but much prettier, and is an invasive species here on the island.  Colley will be leaving here in a week or two, as will her fellow scientist Emily, after an 8 month gig studying birds.  I met Miles, who’s studying the two island species of flying foxes – the fruit bats, and who is a long timer, something like 6 years.   He told me about how special it is to hold a baby flying fox.

And, there were others: Moss, of Korean descent and who is from California, was hosting the party.  Moss is a young AAG prosecutor with a helluva dj system.  His roommate, Julie, is also a young AAG prosecutor.  Julie, from Manhattan, is going to represent American Samoa in a Judo tournament coming up in Brazil.  Then there’s Mike (not the Mike who is my coworker) who’s dating Julie, and who was born and raised in South Africa of Swedish parents who arrived here via the circuitous route of Sweden, Canada and Mexico to study the corals.  He is a sailor who also teaches SCUBA.  There was another Lisa at the party from the office of Public Health.  The two youngest lawyers from my office, Karen, who’s been on the island for about 18 months, and who is a fountain of information about how to get around the island,  and Mathew, who got here a month before I did, were there as well.  Plus, there were other palagis there I didn’t get to meet.   Also there was Edwin, who is a native Samoan, but who’s been practicing law in a civil firm in Vegas for the past 15 years, and is now returning to his homeland to work in the AG’s office.

Moss and Julie live in a neighborhood called Coconut Point.  They have a sweet little place from which you get a good look at the ocean.  American Samoa is ringed by coral reefs.  You can tell where the reef begins because that is where the waves break.  The reefs can lie anywhere from 100 to 300 yards offshore.  Inside the break the water is typically much calmer, and even suitable for paddle boarding.  It’s also a good place to snorkel.  Coconut Point is a high end place to stay because of its proximity to good water.  I like where I am, though, as it’s a lot cheaper, and I have decent access to the water.  Moss, and Julie had only lived there a couple of months.  Moss, being somewhat anal, had been on the ball tracing the comings and goings of the palagis, so he was on top of it when the apartment became available.  Like I said, it is sweet.

Edwin and I were the two oldest at the party, although I do have a few years on Edwin.  Despite my having a good 30 years on the average attendee, I felt perfectly at ease.  These guys have been here a while and have gotten to know each other pretty well.  Their shared experience has also obviously created a bond amongst them – at least as I imagine – that will be special to them the remainder of their lives.  You know, one of those ineffable things.  When I was telling my lovely and darling wife, Jan, about the party and discussing what a unique and shared experience these kids were having, she rightly remarked, “But they’re doing this at a young age, not leaving behind the responsibilities of a marriage and home commitment.”   Ouch for that astute and insightful observation.  Maybe she can join me later this year, once I have had more opportunity to take the lay of the island.

Next:  Doctor Visits